West Coast Surrogacy Celebrates at the Beach

 

Creating families, changing lives, fulfilling dreams and empowering women--it's pretty big stuff.  At West Coast Surrogacy, the staff and surrogates are engaged in work that is transformative and so important every day but this past weekend, they took time to hit the beach and just enjoy each other's company and celebrate their successful partnership.

 

With nearly 100 people attending, the surrogates, staff and their families mingled and mixed on the sands of San Diego with the beautiful Pacific Ocean in the background. 

 

One of our surrogate mothers wrote a thank you note, already:

 “THANK YOU!  Thank you all so much for putting on such a fun beach party!  The boys and I had a blast.  It was great to meet so many of the other surrogates and their families.  You run an amazing company that does amazing things and you should all be proud.

 Thanks again for such a fun time.”

 

Thank YOU!  And many thanks to all our wonderful surrogates. 

Working with you makes every day, a day at the beach!

 

How Our Surrogates Talk to Their Children About Their Pregnancies

WE LOVE OUR SURROGATE MOTHERS!  They are the most caring, interesting, and giving women in the world.  We asked this wonderful group on our Facebook page to share with us how they tell their own children about their surrogate pregnancies.  Read these terrific responses and you will love them, too!

A gathering of surrogate mothers and our Director, Amy Kaplan

•  I explained to my 8&5yr old kids that a mommy's tummy wasn't able to grow a baby, so the doctors were going to combine their "ingredients" to grow a baby and then put that teeny baby in my tummy for me to grow for them. They're reaction: "it's like a really great Christmas gift!" They always had a very clear understanding that the baby I was carrying was not ours.

 

•  I gave my 9 year old a pretty realistic but age appropriate breakdown of the IVF process and explained that I was going to help someone else have a baby and in no way would it be ours or related to us. For my 2 year old, I found a really great book called "The Kangaroo Pouch" that has helped a lot. They are both clear who these babies belong to and get excited to see the intended parents.

   
•  My kids understood that I was helping another mommy who's tummy was "broken".

   
• Our 12 & 14 year old understood without much explaining that after a quick procedure that an embryo that was not ours and had been grown in a science way were going in my uterus to grow. The 3 year old was told we were going to grow a baby for our friends. He loved the experience and is already asking when I will grow another baby for a family that can't have one on their own.

Life, Love, Surrogacy: Inspiring Surrogate Mommy Bloggers

There are some wonderful surrogate mothers who have blogged beautifully about their experiences. It is such a gift to anyone considering surrogacy--Intended Parents and/or Surrogate Mothers--to be able to read these rich, revealing accounts.

I love this paragraph from Life, Love and Surrogacy

Back in December (as you know) I gave birth (in a most spectacular manner) to two of the loveliest human beings.  I am  in SHOCK as I tell you they are 5 days shy of their half-birthday!!!  I am literally the HAPPIEST person alive in part because 3 parents, 5 grandparents and many cousins, aunts, godparents and friends are living in a brighter world.  I am happy to say my life is richer and my horizons are broader because of 2 remarkable families.  I am content to move on from this era of my life knowing I have fulfilled one of my callings, to help create a family (or 2) by way of surrogacy.  Though I may never again be pregnant, I will always know 4 sweet things are babbling, getting food on the carpet, potty training, saying mama and dada in part because my family and I said YES to these most amazing journeys.

On Why Surrogate Mothers Are Like Unicorns: A Beautiful Blog Post We Had to Share

This is THE GREATEST blog post from "I'm Not the Mom, I'm Just the Stork" a funny, informative, full-of-feeling blog by a surrogate mother.

I am a mother and then some.


Surrogates are amazing.  I think we are a lot like unicorns . . . you’ve heard about them but have never seen one in person.  When I meet people, most are intrigued and have a million questions.  Lucky for them, I have a million answers.  When women say, “I could never do that,” I simply reply, “Then don’t.”  It takes a very special woman to become a surrogate.  Actually, it takes a very special mom to become a surrogate.  For only mothers, truly understand the gift they are giving and the amazing lessons of love and family their own children are about to learn.  These surrogates are teachers, nurses, day care providers, etc. but above all, they are mothers.

I will always be a mother.  It’s part of who I am.  I will always be a Surrogate.  It, too, is part of who I am.  Years from now I will look back at my experiences and will swell with pride when I think of the families I helped create. Not just my own, but six other parents who have been able to live the dream.  Yes, I am a mother, and then some.
I will always be a mother.  It’s part of who I am.  I will always be a Surrogate.  It, too, is part of who I am.  Years from now I will look back at my experiences and will swell with pride when I think of the families I helped create. Not just my own, but six other parents who have been able to live the dream.  Yes, I am a mother, and then some.

Since 2001, I have given birth to eight healthy babies.  I don’t actually have eight kids running around my house, but eight healthy embryos have flourished in my uterus over the years.  Three of those were my own children and the other five grew into babies for three other families.  You see, I am not just a mother but I am a Gestational Surrogate and even though I’m not the mother of my surrogate babies, with every hope their parents had, every pregnancy, every birth, every experience of placing a newborn in their parent’s arms, I relived my own journey to motherhood.  As I helped others realize their dreams of becoming parents, I was continually reminded how truly amazing being a mother can be.  Not just in the delivery room when your child takes their first breath but how every day you have with your child is an adventure and a blessing.

I was lucky that I had a very easy time conceiving, very easy pregnancies and very easy deliveries.  I loved, and continue to love being a mom.  I also loved being pregnant.  I learned about the concept of surrogacy pretty early on and thought, even before I had my own children, that it was something that I would like to do.  How amazing must it be to help people who can’t have children (for one reason or another) become parents?  Little did I know that it would be one of the most amazing things I’d ever do in my lifetime.  Who knew my uterus could be so marvelous?  And I am not alone.  Across the country there are women, who already know the joys motherhood brings, who are ready to help give something great to others.

Every year, when Mother’s Day arrives, I celebrate the fact that I am a mother to my own three.  I do not celebrate the births of surro-babies that day, that’s what their birthdays are for.  I do, however, think of the many surrogates I know, that have bestowed one of the greatest gifts you can give to someone.  Regardless of compensation, there is a certain amount of altruism that surrogates have.  I also think about all women who celebrate their own motherhood, regardless of how they got there.  Alternative Insemination? IVF? Adoption? Surrogacy?  There are so many ways to arrive at motherhood, not one better than the other.

VISIT HER SITE HERE: http://justthestork.blogspot.com/2013/05/my-mothers-day-post.html

WATCH: Hear from a Surrogate Mother and Her Husband on the Joys of Surrogacy

Explaining Your Surrogate Pregnancy to Your Children

On the website for the support organization, Parents Pursuing Pregnancy, there are excellent articles for the Intended Parent but also pieces targeted at surrogate mothers.   This is one of them:

Surrogate arrangements are an important option for couples seeking to build their family. Surrogate mothers have an essential role in helping couples become parents, and this role is one that they assume with knowledge and sensitivity. A relatively unexplored issue that confronts surrogate mothers is the impact of the surrogate pregnancy on their own children. Most women who want to be surrogates already have children of their own. This is important because they understand well from experience the process of pregnancy and childbirth, and also appreciate children and what they mean to a family. Generally, these children are quite young, typically under the age of ten, since the most fertile years are relatively few. 

The surrogate mother is necessarily focused on thc baby she is carrying, but she must also consider her own children in her planning. She needs to think about her own feelings and she needs to think about how she will explain the pregnancy to her children. She needs to consider how she will explain the fact that her children may never meet the baby-possibly their half-sibling, and how she will reassure her children that they need not fear separation from her. One surrogate mother explains that she is "babysitting" for nine months; another says she is "an oven, an incubator". 

Not only are these issues complex, but the level of cognitive and emotional development for each child will dictate a different approach to these concerns. Concerns for any one child will change as that child matures. As with any sensitive issue in a child's life experience, parents must be open to following the lead of the child's apparent and disguised anxieties, fears, and questions. For some children, questions can be conscious and arriculated, such as: "Why isn't the baby coming home from the hospital?" or "Why can't I see the baby?" It is often more difficult for children to express fears, some of which may even remain under the surface, such as, "If I do something wrong, will you send me away?" Some questions may be raised by friends or others outside the family. A teacher or neighbor may ask, "Are you having a baby sister or brother?" These can be complicated questions for a surrogate mother, and even more so for the child who is without maturity or intellectual or emotional resources to understand the situation. 

Because these questions can be so delicate, some women may want to believe that their young children have no awareness of the surrogacy. However, while there are significant iudividual differences, babies as young as one and a half can have a concrete perception of mother getting bigger physically, and children around the age of three will have some ability to understand that there is a baby inside. Additionally, children are very sensitive to family concerns, family secrets, and family tensions. Even a one year old can grow up with a vague sense of something signifigant having occurred within the family. While the two-year old may not have fantasies about this process, this same child may develop layers of fantasy as he or she matures. Thus, a surrogacy can come up at different times, bringing with it different meanings and questions. Surrogate mothers can assist their children by their sensitivity to their children's developing awareness and changing concerns as they mature. 

One surrogate mother tells her children, "Mommy is helping two people who can't make their own baby so that they can have a baby that they really want." At another time in response to her children's fears, she says, "When Mommy decided to help this couple have a baby, Mommy knew the baby was for them. The baby belongs to their family. When Mommy decided to have you, Mommy knew that you would be our baby forever and ever. Mommy knew you would always belong to our family and you always will." A surrogate mother must feel comfortable with her own explanation. 

An awareness of these concerns can help a surrogate mother hear the questions her children ask and can provide the opening to explain what is happening. If such concerns ir questions are posed, a surrogate mother should respond to them and acknowledge their importance. 

Dr. Linda Kanefield, a clinical psychologist in Chevy Chase Maryland, evaluates surrogate mothers, and is the author of articles and presentations on women's issues, including dual-working couples, pregnancy and mother-daughter relationship. 
 

A Calling to Surrogacy



JOHN HART-State Journal



French nationals Thomas Clochon, left, and Nicolas Beslin, right, hold their newborn twin boys, Hugo and Valentin Clochon, born through surrogate Taylor Torcaso, center.

In this lovely story from the Wisconsin Journal, gestational surrogate Taylor Torcaso puts into words what so many women who act as surrogates say they also feel.

Taylor Torcaso has this thing about pregnancy.
"When I'm pregnant I feel whole," said the 28-year-old married mother of two who lives on Madison's East Side. "When I'm not pregnant, I'm longing to be pregnant."
So, with what she termed a "calling" to become pregnant again, coupled with the desire to help two gay Frenchmen have a family of their own, Torcaso agreed to carry a baby for 9 months that was not her own.


Read more: http://host.madison.com/news/local/health_med_fit/a-tale-of-love-and-surrogacy/article_c0fc9edc-8765-11e2-bbd5-0019bb2963f4.html#ixzz2My05xnWY

How Gestational Surrogates Tell Their Children

Wondering how a Gestational Surrgogate explains her pregnancy to her own children?  Every family and every child is different and so, too, should be the approach to telling why Mom's tummy is growing.  Different ages will have a varying degree of understanding and information should be shared appropriate to the listener's age and maturity.  And, in the end, every Mother knows her own child best. 

Here's how Gestational Surrogate Cori Borjan did it.  This is from The Organization of Parents Through Surrogacy (OPTS) website:

  My youngest was nine at the time. I explained that my intended parents weren't able to get pregnant, but really wanted a baby. I told him that the doctor would take an egg from the intended mom and sperm from the intended dad and would put them inside me until the baby was born. I told him that the baby would grow inside of me, but when the baby is born, it would go home with the intended parents. My nine year old son looked at me and said, "So, it's kinda like you're babysitting." I was so proud of him. He understood perfectly!

Sperm Quality Is Down Everywhere, Especially in Israel

An article in the Los Angeles Times about the declining quality of sperm in Israel reported this change has been dramatic just in the last ten years.  Today, only "1 in 100 donors makes the cut. A decade ago, it was 1 in 10."

The story, reported by Edmund Sanders, goes on to say:

 "Simply put, the quality of Israeli sperm is falling at an alarming rate, and no one's sure exactly why."

"So the drop in the quality of sperm is raising some red flags, even though the cause remains a mystery. Speculative theories range from the mundane (carrying cellphones in front pockets) to the far-fetched (depleted uranium from exploded munitions). Some Israeli scientists are looking seriously at naturally occurring hormones, particularly estrogen, in Israel's water and milk and suggest that it's a mark of the country's aggressive dairy farming methods."

 Male infertility can be a terrible blow to a man's sense of self.  It might feel like an assault to their virility.  The same diagnosis for a woman can be equally shattering but often, because women are more apt to share their feelings and to seek support when overwhelmed, they are able to move ahead with what needs to be done to create the family of the dreams.   But given the declining quality of sperm in the world, wonderful organizations like Resolve may be reaching out to more and more men. Hopefully, the men will be willing to accept the help.

"The decline has been dramatic," Cryobank's Ronen said. "It's a shame. We see these macho, beautiful guys come to give donations, but then we're embarrassed to have to tell them that their sperm quality is so low they may actually end up coming back as a client."

www.westcoastsurrogacy.com

Will The New Normal Get Surrogacy?

The desire to be a parent can overwhelm all other concerns and dominate a person’s thoughts, actions and lives. When building a family proves elusive,and the process of understanding and coping with the causes is underway, the stress is immense, the pain profound.  Life becomes a series of acronyms—IVF, ICSI,ART, IUI, IP’s—and navigating the intricacies of options—adoption, surrogacy,donor—is a full-time job. 

So, when those same wounds are mined for material, it might prove uncomfortable if done without sensitivity or understanding.  A soon-to-debut television show in the US, The New Normal, will use surrogacy as its storyline.   That’s not to say it can’t be done well; a sense of humor in addressing a serious situation serves to make the subject more relatable.  Yet, in the written description of the show, there are clichés surrounding the surrogate mother who, of course, has a “checkered past”; she is described as “A Midwestern waitress and single mother looking to escape her dead-end-life.”  That is a tired stereotype.  Women who serve as surrogates come from all walks of life.   Their unifying trait is their desire to extend the great gift of parenthood.

Conversely, in the preview online, there are glimmers of hope.  The surrogate mother says, “Family is family and love is love.”  Would like to see that the Intended Parents don’t go with the advisor/agency/attorney who describes surrogates as “an Ez-Bake Oven with no right to the cupcake.”  If instead they walk away from him and into the office of an agency that is as respectful of its surrogates as it is with its clients, then The New Normal will be a celebration of the new family and not just an easy-to-digest version of one.



These days, families come in all forms - single dads, double moms, sperm donors, egg donors, one-night-stand donors... It's 2012 and anything goes. Bryan (Andrew Rannells,"Girls," "The Book of Mormon") and David (Justin Bartha,"The Hangover") are a Los Angeles couple, and they have it all. Well,almost. With successful careers and a committed, loving partnership, there isone thing that this couple is missing: a baby. And just when they think the stars will never align, enter Goldie (Georgia King, "One Day"), an extraordinary young woman with a checkered past. A Midwestern waitress and single mother looking to escape her dead-end life and small-minded grandmother(Emmy and Tony Award-winner Ellen Barkin), Goldie decides to change everything and move to L.A. with her precocious eight-year-old daughter. Desperate and broke - but also fertile - Goldie quickly becomes the guys' surrogate and quite possibly the girl of their dreams. Surrogate mother, surrogate family.

Ryan Murphy serves as creator/executive producer and director along with creator/executive producer Ali Adler ("Glee," "Chuck") and executive producer Dante DiLoreto ("Glee," "American Horror Story").
"The New Normal" isproduced by 20th Century Fox Television and Ryan Murphy Productions.
-Excerpted from NBC.com

Learn more about surrogacy at www.westcoastsurrogacy.com

Surrogacy Laws: Different in Every State

A well-written and researched piece by Gina Barton of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel ("Surrogacy laws vary by state" August 7, 2012) includes a discussion about the development of a "model act" to make surrogacy laws more comprehensive and universal. As it stands today, they are different everywhere and rulings are often made on a case-by-case basis. 

The entire article appears here but the description of the proposed model act is especially interesting:
http://www.jsonline.com/features/health/surrogacy-laws-vary-by-state-co65rvg-165348756.html

The bold type on the quote below is our emphasis and not in the original article.  It is so eloquently expressed we felt it deserved special attention.

"And some judges here have allowed the names of those who hired the surrogate to be placed on the birth certificate without requiring her to give up parental rights as part of an adoption or other legal proceeding, Brisman said.
But other judges have not, according to attorney Steven Snyder, chair of the American Bar Association's committee on assisted reproductive technologies. While Wisconsin law includes a mechanism for determining paternity through DNA testing, there is not a similar statute to establish maternity, he said. The law here assumes the woman who gives birth is the mother. Attorneys who believe otherwise must make their arguments in court.

"The laws were based on a universe where the only way to have children was the old-fashioned way," Snyder said. "We have a rainbow of alternatives today in how to get pregnant and how to have a child, and the laws have not kept up."

That leaves most of the legal issues surrounding surrogacy up to each judge.
To reduce the likelihood of problems, the bar association drafted a model act governing assisted reproductive technology. The model act, approved by the association in 2008, covers everything from who can donate eggs to what happens to embryos in the event of a death or divorce. It is gender neutral and applies to heterosexual couples, gay couples and single people.
For surrogacy, the model act mandates safeguards such as medical insurance and mental health evaluations. It lists requirements for both the surrogate and for those hiring her. Surrogates, for example, must be at least 21 years old and must have given birth to at least one child. Those who want to hire one must be unable to safely carry their own children."

Learn more about surrogacy and review a variety of resources at www.westcoastsurrogacy.com

© 2012, Journal Sentinel Inc. All rights reserved.

Christie Vetoes Bill To Set Guidelines For Gestational Carrier Agreements

TRENTON – Gov. Chris Christie vetoed a bill that would have permitted New Jersey parents to enter into gestational carrier agreements to have someone else carry their baby to term and give birth.
Unlike traditional surogacy, where a woman is artificially inseminated and gives birth to a child conceived with her own egg, a gestational surrogate carries a child conceived without any of her genetic material.
“Validating contracts for the birth of children is a step that cannot be taken without the most serious inquiry, reflection and consensus,” Christie wrote in his veto message. “I am not satisfied that these questions have been sufficiently studied by the Legislature at this time.”
State Sen. Joseph Vitale (D-Middlesex), who sponsored the bill, said, “I am deeply disappointed with the Governor’s decision to veto legislation that would have thoughtfully created rules governing what is already an existing method of having children. Many parents who cannot otherwise have their own children have used this procedure for many years. It is a major setback for parents who wish to create life and give a baby a loving home.
“I also strongly disagree with the Governor’s comments that the Legislature did not sufficiently study this issue. I dedicated over one year to discussing this issue with a variety of groups and individuals, including my colleagues.”

SOURCE:
WWW.NJTODAY.NET

Who Is a Surrogate? Meet Laura

Laura Davis is a third time gestational surrogate.  She is the mother of two children and really wanted to help a family that was struggling. 

Laura addresses the "who is a surrogate?" question when she says "A Surrogate is me, it's you, it's the woman at school dropping off the kids. It's an average woman who wants to help out in a special way."

Why I Love Being a Surrogate

We're so fortunate to work with wonderful women and families who are not only willing to work together as partners through the gestational surrogacy journey but also generous enough to share their experiences.  This is the first of three videos on "Why I Love Being a Surrogate" and we're delighted to introduce you to Tina Schneider: 

We Say "Yes" : Is Surrogacy on Its Way to Becoming the 'New Normal'?

In late June, Fred Silberberg authored this post on the Huffington Post:  Is Surrogacy on Its Way to Becoming 'The New Normal'?     He outlines steps in the surrogacy journey and his concluding paragraph emphasizes the importance of "taking proper measures" and working within a framework so that you will be "free you from the stress and distraction of surrogacy's process and allow you to focus on what's truly important: preparing to welcome a new child into the world with love, warmth and care."  Sharing this with credit to Mr. Silberberg and thanks to Huffington Post:

Surrogacy affords the opportunity of a dream-come-true for couples and individuals hoping to become parents but face the burdens of infertility or other health issues which make pregnancy and delivery dangerous or impossible. It enables you to welcome a child into the world who is truly your own and continue the miracle of your family lines.
The hard part, however, is reaching that point.
The surrogate parent's path to parenthood is infamously complicated, posing an intimidating and often overwhelming obstacle to parents-to-be. Quite justifiably, surrogacy's daunting process is enough to spur many parents to rule it out altogether as a potential alternative parenting option.
But it doesn't have to be this way. An understanding of surrogacy's legal structure and its step-by-step process can help make the process more manageable and allow you to realize the joy which surrogacy can bring.
Depending upon your needs, the first step is to find and connect with a surrogate, egg donor or sperm donor. Given the nature of the relationship and all that's at stake, you need to be careful and deliberate in conducting your search. Surrogacy is rife with schemes and fraud, but you can help to protect yourself by finding a surrogate, egg donor or sperm donor you can trust and depend on. You should conduct an extensive screening process, as there are details concerning medical and pregnancy history, insurance and family health information which need to be addressed from the very beginning. To help make the search process more manageable, a surrogacy agency can help you to engage with candidates who have been through a proper screening. If you choose to pursue the search on your own, be judicious and maintain your standards -- even if it means extra time and, more likely than not, frustration. Finding the right connection early on will help to protect you and ensure a smooth process.
The legal agreement you execute is crucial. This is where surrogacy can turn into a painful headache for many parents. In the U.S., there is no federal regulation dictating the legality of surrogacy on a national level. Surrogacy is governed at the state level and laws and regulations can vary widely from state to state, ranging from criminal penalty to full protection of those parties engaged in surrogacy agreements. To complicate things further, a state's statutes and its relevant case law often seem to oppose one another in matters regarding surrogacy, meaning that what is written has been bent, stretched or outright contradicted in actual practice. The result is a patchwork, state-by-state legal atmosphere which is complicated, unclear and, to some extent, unpredictable.
In welcomed contrast, however, California has served as one of the most stable and favorable states in which to execute and complete a surrogacy agreement. The state has a strong base of case law which upholds surrogacy agreements and grants legal custody to intended parents. Thankfully, this means that the legal integrity of your surrogacy agreement in California hinges primarily upon the effectiveness of the agreement itself -- not external variables and uncertainties which are beyond your control.
Although a surrogacy contract may seem rather simple, a properly drafted surrogacy agreement is a complex and detailed document. The contract covers a range of matters and it needs to properly address each individual consideration, which go far beyond mere terms of compensation. The agreement must address, for instance, what happens if multiple embryos are implanted and they all take, whether the parents can eliminate some embryos to avoid multiple births, what happens if the surrogate suffers medical complications, what measures the surrogate must take to maintain a healthy pregnancy, whether there will be a waiver of the surrogate's rights to health care confidentiality relating to the pregnancy, and what happens if insurance is denied, to name a few points.
Once you've reached a legal agreement which protects you and your child that you understand thoroughly, and one which creates a sound framework to move forward, the fertilization and implantation medical processes begin.
From here, your role moves into a supervisory one -- staying on top of your surrogate to ensure they are keeping all medical appointments and leading a lifestyle which supports a healthy child. Sadly, many parents often disappear at this stage and show up again after delivery. You should make every effort to keep in close contact with your surrogate throughout the pregnancy and provide support in any way you can. Remember, you're trusting your surrogate with your own child, and it's in everyone's best interest to work in an environment of support and trust. When choosing your surrogate, you should ask to what extent they'll want you involved during the pregnancy term, and be sure you're on the same page in knowing what level of contact and support is desired throughout the pregnancy. In addition, many parents choose to continue their relationship with their surrogate after birth. Some do not wish to. This expectation should also be made clear prior to signing a contract.
Taking proper measures at the beginning of surrogacy's process can help to ensure that your journey will go smoothly. Further, doing so will free you from the stress and distraction of surrogacy's process and allow you to focus on what's truly important: preparing to welcome a new child into the world with love, warmth and care.

 Follow Fred Silberberg on Twitter: www.twitter.com/fredsilberberg

The Gift of Family

Out of the many stories we have heard about the struggles of infertility, this one really touched our hearts and brought us to tears. The beginning of the story of Kathy and Rob Adzich’s is a familiar one, a young happy couple starting out their lives together deciding to embark on the journey of having their own children. Quickly, they learn they are pregnant, but their story diverges from most when Kathy starts having contractions in her second trimester. The initial elation of expecting a baby is replaced by sorrow, when at 22 weeks, Kathy gives birth to a stillborn child.

They try again a few months later, but sadly, the couple is struck another blow as a second stillborn child is delivered at 16 weeks. The third pregnancy, Kathy is confined to bed rest and agrees to undergo the extreme step of having her cervix sewn shut to prevent a premature delivery. At 19 weeks, Kathy starts having contractions and with the help of powerful drugs, the delivery is postponed another month. The third child, Jakob, is born alive, but he is frail with underdeveloped lungs. He eventually passes away in Kathy’s arms at 3 weeks of age. Devastated, the Adzich’s leave the hospital without a baby for a third time in three years.

All the while, an angel named Stephanie Kalenda stood by watching thes traumatizing events unfold from her post as a labor and delivery nurse in the hospital where the Azdich’s event's took place. Days later Stephanie calls them with an amazing offer, “ I have a good uterus, let’s use it.” Stephanie explained that she had seen many people come in and out of the delivery center, and some were not fit to be parents whereas others were, and she assured the Adzich's that they were and she was going to help them become parents. And so their surrogacy journey together began as Stephanie was implanted with embryos from the couple and together they conceived beautiful baby, Gabe.

The Adzichs and Stephanie were invited on the Today show with Meridith Veira to talk about the miracle of surrogacy and how it bonded them and created the dream of a family. Please click here to see the video of this amazing story.

Jackie's Story Part 2

Once Jackie had decided to become a surrogate, she chose a surrogacy agency, where she met Amy Kaplan, who would be her case manager and guide along the way. She describes Amy as someone who “truly cares about you”. She says Amy’s experience as an egg donor, surrogate, IVF clinic manager, case worker, and mother gives her the ability to see “every point of view”. With Amy’s guidance and support, Jackie began her extensive series of physical exams, psychological counseling, background checks and reviews of her medical history. After she passed all of the necessary requirements, she was interviewed by potential parents until all parties felt like it was the right match. This was another critical step in the process since the lives of all individuals would be inextricably linked once she became pregnant.

In order to prepare physically, Jackie was given medication to block her own ovulation and hormones to prepare her body for pregnancy. This step was difficult as it made her physically tired and irritable at times. Finally, the long-awaited day arrived when she would undergo her first embryo transfer. Jackie was given Valium, and using a catheter, the doctor transferred the delicate embryo into her uterus. A fantastic glow lit up the ultrasound when the embryo was implanted. It is as if the life force of the embryo was showing itself. Often, this moment brings a sense of awe and wonder to all who witness it as new life is taking root right before your eyes.

Following the transfer, Jackie remained lying on an inverted table for another 45 minutes, feet up, letting the force of gravity assist in the process. Next, she relocated to her hotel room nearby, where she would stay on 48-72 hour bed rest. Later that month, when she returned to the doctor, she was disheartened to learn that her first embryo transfer had failed, a common occurrence in the world of IVF. Resolved to try again, two months later, Jackie was overjoyed to learn she had become pregnant.

Jackie felt even more thrilled because her hopes of developing a loving relationship with the intended mother were also coming true. Not only was the new mother actively engaging in the relationship with Jackie, but she was also expressing great interest in the lives of Jackie’s children. She would surprise the children with gifts and call Jackie frequently to make sure she was doing well. Jackie could not have been more pleased with how beautiful the whole process was going, feeling fantastic most of the way through. At 38 weeks, she delivered a healthy 7 lb boy to the waiting arms of the new parents.

With the birth complete, Jackie unexpectedly found herself a little let down. While she was prepared for the time when she would deliver the baby to the arms of the new family, she was unprepared to let go of the new relationships she had forged with the family. She had hoped the relationships could be long-lasting, and that she could receive updates from time to time on the baby, but not all parents choose this route, and she had to grow to accept that.

Although the ending of her first surrogacy was bittersweet, Jackie couldn't help but feel she had done something truly incredible. For the first time in her life, she discovered what she was really good at. Being a surrogate had given her a sense of purpose, and a new clarity to her mission in life. She had the the ability to protect, nourish and bring to life another living being, filling the void and heartache of people who yearned to be parents. The joy and deep satisfaction of that realization made her want to become a surrogate again. She also grew wiser in the process and became better attuned to her own expectations and needs. In turn, she also got better at communicating those ideals to potential parents, ensuring it was the right match for them and for her. Luckily, her life lessons and preparation paid off, because the second time, Jackie got her happy ending.


To Be Continued…

My Life As A Surrogate-Jackie's Story Part One

She was sitting at Starbucks, the day I met her, with her tousled red hair resting shoulder high, and her medium build wrapped loosely in a blue and white snowflake sweater. Jackie has sparkly blue eyes, pale freckled skin, and girlish smile that instantly puts you at ease. I immediately feel her positive energy, which might explain why Jackie has been chosen time and again to be the surrogate to families in need. As a seasoned surrogate, Jackie is a rare wealth of knowledge and a sought after professional in her field.

I tell her I want to know everything about her story, from the time she decided to become a surrogate, her multiple deliveries and her latest attempt to become pregnant for a lucky new couple. “I’m an open book” she declares and her voice happily trails off into the story of how she became a surrogate and the path that led her to West Coast Surrogacy.

When the last of her children was born in 2004, Jackie knew she was satisfied with having two beautiful children of her own and decided to have her tubes tied. As a single mom, she was looking for a way to stay at home with her kids and have balance in her life. Out of curiosity, she responded to an ad for egg donation. The woman on the line informed her that at 29, Jackie was too old, but that surrogacy might be an option. The more she learned about it, the more she felt it was right for her.

Jackie knew she loved being pregnant and she also knew herself well enough to know she could remain detached and clear about whose baby she would carry. This is something extremely important that she feels all surrogates must know for themselves before making this decision. Knowing how deeply she loved her own children, and how much they enriched her own life, she felt becoming a surrogate could be a meaningful and personally rewarding way to support her family and do something life-changing for others struggling with infertility. She decided to go for it. Along the way, she would discover the exhilaration, exhaustion, heartbreak, complication and ultimately, the satisfaction of her life-altering decision.

To Be Continued…

A Birth Story; Suzie's story

Here's a note that West Coast Surrogacy surrogate, Suzie, wrote to her fellow surrogates after the birth of twins.


Hello Ladies,
Sorry for the delay, but here's how things turned out!
I was scheduled for my c-section on Wed at 3PM. I woke up early at 5
to have my "last meal" and went downstairs. After I was finished
eating, I noticed that I felt a little "wet" and went upstairs to
change my underwear...wondering if maybe my water broke.
I decided to stay up for a little bit to "monitor the situation" and
started getting ready. After doing my make-up, I didn't feel anymore
'leaking' so went and laid back down....with a towel under me, just in
case!
I woke up a little before 7 and felt a little more damp so debated on
calling my husband to come home early...he usually gets home at 9ish
but the lights go on at the fire station to wake them up at 7. I
decided not to call yet and got up to finish doing my hair and to get
the kids ready...my Mom was picking them up at 9ish to go see Thomas
the Train and keep them for the day.
I continued to have a small drip for the rest of the morning but
decided to hang out, figuring that even if I went to the hospital
early that they'd make me wait until 3 when surgery was scheduled. My
hubby went upstairs to take a nap (turns out he was up since 5 for a
car accident on the 10 anyway...) and I laid down on the couch.
At about 10:30 I got up to use the restroom and had a small 'gush' of
water so I immediately called the Doctor, Amy, my IP's and headed
upstairs to wake my hubby. I continued to have intermittent leaks all
the way to the hospital but no contractions..even up to surgery time.
At the hospital they bumped my surgery time up to 1:45 and we were
able to confirm that my IP's would be allowed into the OR. Before
surgery I met my IF's Mom and sister and was able to say HI to IM's
Mom and 2 daughters before we headed off to get ready....
In the OR things were really relaxed....the anesthesiologist gave me
my epidural and then they covered me all up and 'raised the curtain'
so that the surgical area was obscured and then they let in my hubby
and IP's. At 2:12 Baby A made his 6lb 8oz first gurrgly cries,
followed by Baby B 1 minute later weighing 5lbs 6 oz. It was
wonderful hearing those first cries and then within a few minutes
being able to see my IP's get to hold their babies for the first
time! I don't think there is anything that I have ever experienced
that was as uplifting besides the birth of my own children.
The babies had good APGAR scores and were 19 and 18 inches
respectively. Baby B ended up having a low blood sugar that corrected
after one dose of glucose and Baby A had some jaundice....but there
were pronounced "Perfect" by their pediatrician on Saturday.
They brought the babies in to visit me that evening...I was still
unable to move anything besides my arms, so they placed the babies on
either side of me on the bed. The following day they brought them to
see me in the morning and when my Mom came to see me, IM took her to
their room to introduce her to the babies. That evening before they
got released, they brought the babies and a couple beers over and we
all celebrated (IM and I did not drink since she is breast feeding and
I was drugged!). My husband and I walked them to the elevators when they
left and it was such a happy picture to see them leaving together!
Mom in the wheelchair holding both babies, Dad carrying the carseat
and big sis taking pictures of everything! I thought that I might get
emotional, but I haven't once felt "sad" that the babies are gone!
They have been texting me and sending me pictures ever since Thursday
and I am sure that we will get together soon!
I was released on Friday afternoon...less than 48 hrs after my
surgery. Apparently that is really quick, it's usually 3 days. I
think that since I didn't have a baby to look after that the doctor
thought it would be safe to let me go early. I haven't had any pain
from the incision sight, but girls let me tell you! The gas pain that
builds up after a c-section is astonishing! I never knew gas could be
so painful! Today was the first day that I didn't cringe when the car
hit a bump...which is good because I had to go to the doctor to have
my staples out this morning.
When my kids got home on Friday (Grandma had them when Daddy picked me
up), the first thing my 4 year old did was run up and put her hand on
my tummy. Then she lifted my shirt up and asked if the babies were
gone. I said Yes and then showed her my "owie" so that she'd
understand why she still couldn't jump on Mommy. She was happy that
the babies had "gone home with their Mommy and Daddy" and that I was
home...but she said my belly was still big! LOL...my 3 year old
looked at my belly once, echoed her sister and then moved on! They
have both seen the pictures on my phone and don't seem to have any
concerns at all about where the babies have gone. They were unable to
see the babies due to new regulations on visitors because of
H1N1...they couldn't even come into the waiting area in the hospital
to visit me but they were excited to spend 3 days with Grandma so
didn't seem to mind too much!
Well, that's pretty much it! It was just as amazing and rewarding an
experience as you could ever ask for and I can't wait for the rest of
you first timers to tell your stories!! And....I only have 12 more
pounds left to lose!

Laura: A Surrogate Mother

My Story, Part 3

The Transfer

The night before the transfer I had dinner and fun girl time with my Intended Mother and her mom. It was just perfect, like hanging out with a girlfriend or a sister, and her mom made me feel just as comfortable. We had an amazing time at dinner talking for hours, before I knew it was after 10pm and I still had to drive about 45 minutes home (they were staying near the IVF clinic). We didn't plan that well, my IM even said “you should have brought your clothes and just stayed the night here”, oh well, hind sight, right? The next morning Amy came to pick me up and off we went, I never felt nervous or scared, just plain and simple excitement; like a kid on Christmas. When we arrived at the clinic they took me right back, had me take a Valium and in walked everyone, the doc, my IM and before we knew it the doc called the lab to bring in the embabies. When the lab person walked in with those beautiful little ones, the energy in the room changed, it was so amazing like a lovely white calming light and we all felt it, the tears were rolling in that room and we all knew that beautiful life was there, then as they entered my womb I felt that energy enter my body. I am crying now just writing about it. In my life this was one of the most powerful experiences, right up there with the birth of my children and my wedding day.

After the transfer off to the hotel I went for 2 days of bed rest. I really enjoyed it; my husband brought the kids to see me twice, my dad, and my good friend all came to visit during my stay, and in between my visits and naps I had lots of rest, yummy room service (I felt so bad ordering so much room service, I never do that!!), and the Sex in the City series on my laptop.

On the 3rd day at 10am I was finally aloud to get up and SHOWER!!! It was also my son’s 5th birthday so the rest of the day was full of preparations. Even though I have been busy since the transfer after the bed rest, I can't help but notice I have the usual symptoms of pregnancy and hope and pray the little "omelets" as my IM calls them, made a nice home. My blood test is Tuesday, Jan. 20th inauguration day!!!

The Wait and Results

It really wasn’t bad, transfer was on Saturday, bed rest for 48 hours, and then to work for 3 days until my husband, the kids and I went up to visit our IP’s for the weekend. They live on an amazing ranch, we were all so excited to go and see it, especially the kids. As soon as we were all together of course the question came up; should we take a home pregnancy test this weekend or just wait until Tuesday for the blood test? Well that question was answered the next morning when my IM’s mom brought me a couple of urine tests to take. And what did we see??????? A big FAT POSITIVE!!!!!!!! It was so great, everyone found out the news together and all of us were of course in tears. It was an amazing weekend to say the least.

Tuesday finally came and although we had been now getting positives on home tests, the blood test is what we all were waiting for before we would rest assured we were in fact pregnant. I went for my test in the morning and eagerly waited all morning until lunch for the results. By 1pm I was frantic, calling the IVF center, emailing the nurse, and then I got the call!!! The nurse from the IVF center said,” Well, we are going to have to have you test again on either Thursday or Friday and you are definitely pregnant, your beta number was 584, looks like twins but of course we can not confirm that until the ultrasound!” We were all in shock, that is an amazing number. Then I got to be the one to call my IM and give her the good news, wow all I have to say is WOW!!!!! The second blood test came back great too with a beta of 1030. We are all so happy and look forward to the ultrasound in 2 more weeks so we can know for sure how many “omelets” are in there!!!