Story of a Surrogate: The Intended Mother
After battling fertility problems for eight years, she was concerned she would never be able to conceive. This November, she'll hold her own baby in her arms. The intended mother shares her story and discusses her desire for a family.
Although not all women will have children, for many it's a basic progression of a loving relationship, a right of womanhood to be able to procreate.
Although not all women will have children, for many it's a basic progression of a loving relationship, a right of womanhood to be able to procreate.
But, due to many and varying factors, some couples struggle to conceive on their own, left on the sidelines to watch others who find it easy to build a family.
Mary* (not her real name) was concerned she would never be able to conceive, after several operations to her cervix.
"They did tell me, 'it won't affect your fertility'.
"I did wonder about it, even before my husband and I were together.
"We were together for about a year and trying naturally and that didn't work. So we went to see a fertility specialist.
The couple tried IUI first, a procedure which involves tracking the woman's cycles to see when she was ovulating. After several attempts, the couple then turned to IVF.
"We did that for 5 or 6 years. It was pretty draining - each time you go through an IVF cycle you get hopeful maybe it will work and scared that it won't.
Mary described the ups and downs of the process as a 'rollercoaster of emotions'.
"It puts your life in a holding pattern.
The couple talked about giving up their battle, to live a life without children.
"I was probably the main instigator of us to keep it going."
The couple also looked into adoption and egg donation before exploring surrogacy.
Finding a surrogate mother
Mary* said she was unsure to begin with, not knowing a whole lot about the process and her husband was equally dubious.
"He initially said, that's pretty 'full-on', to get someone else to carry your baby, but he was open to thinking about it."
"He met Bec and she was really great and I guess that alleviated a lot of his concerns about it."
The couple met Rebecca online, through a social media page run by Surrogacy Australia. After talking online initially and then on the phone a few times a week - while Mary was undergoing egg donation procedures - the two women became close.
After twelve months, Rebecca made an offer to become a surrogate for the couple.
"We felt very privileged to have that offer.
"It's a massive deal for someone, for a friend to do that for you.
"I think one of the most important parts of it is being comfortable with your surrogate and their family and feeling that you can trust them."
READ THE ENTIRE STORY HERE:
Mary* (not her real name) was concerned she would never be able to conceive, after several operations to her cervix.
"They did tell me, 'it won't affect your fertility'.
"I did wonder about it, even before my husband and I were together.
"We were together for about a year and trying naturally and that didn't work. So we went to see a fertility specialist.
The couple tried IUI first, a procedure which involves tracking the woman's cycles to see when she was ovulating. After several attempts, the couple then turned to IVF.
"We did that for 5 or 6 years. It was pretty draining - each time you go through an IVF cycle you get hopeful maybe it will work and scared that it won't.
Mary described the ups and downs of the process as a 'rollercoaster of emotions'.
"It puts your life in a holding pattern.
The couple talked about giving up their battle, to live a life without children.
"I was probably the main instigator of us to keep it going."
The couple also looked into adoption and egg donation before exploring surrogacy.
Finding a surrogate mother
Mary* said she was unsure to begin with, not knowing a whole lot about the process and her husband was equally dubious.
"He initially said, that's pretty 'full-on', to get someone else to carry your baby, but he was open to thinking about it."
"He met Bec and she was really great and I guess that alleviated a lot of his concerns about it."
The couple met Rebecca online, through a social media page run by Surrogacy Australia. After talking online initially and then on the phone a few times a week - while Mary was undergoing egg donation procedures - the two women became close.
After twelve months, Rebecca made an offer to become a surrogate for the couple.
"We felt very privileged to have that offer.
"It's a massive deal for someone, for a friend to do that for you.
"I think one of the most important parts of it is being comfortable with your surrogate and their family and feeling that you can trust them."
READ THE ENTIRE STORY HERE:
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