A Guest Blog Post: Infertility Is Unfair and RESOLVE Is Great

Thank you to our Guest Blogger, Lucille, who is sharing her story with us so we can, in turn, share with you. 

 

When I found out that my husband and I could not just let nature take its course and that we could not get pregnant like the last gazillion people in history before us who put their parts together and ended up parents, I was beyond rattled.  Nature wasn’t taking its course because our course was all messed up.  We were in our late 30’s but had been very blasé and unbothered about our ages because we live in California where celebrities are walking around at 48 with adorable twins, sporting them like designer handbags.  Nobody told me that their twins were not the product of their eggs; I was just blissfully ignorant.  I figured that “it would happen” and I thought giving birth was my birth right.  I felt that a woman who wanted to be a mother as badly as I wanted it would surely have her prayers answered. 

Think again, sister.  Thus followed the nights that were so melodramatic I almost felt like I was looking down on myself and saying, “Now this is soap opera material, this is.” Waking up crying, arms reaching for a baby, and sleepless nights where I wondered if we—my husband and I—should just cut our losses and go find some more fertile ground –literally—elsewhere in other partners.  Still, I am made of stern stuff.  I knew that after my cameo appearance in my soap opera I would find my bearings and start to make a plan.  Before this, however, I had the good luck to find RESOLVE.  This organization put me in touch with a support group in my area where I sat with other women and one brave man to discuss our pain and to help each other move through it to a solution.  Our leader said, “Every one of you in this room will have come to some resolution in the next five years—you will either be parents or you will have decided to live child free—but I know that things will shift.”  She was right but it meant the world to hear her confident prediction. 

Today, when my daughter is sitting at the kitchen table, doing her math homework, I remember the support I received through RESOLVE and am forever grateful.