Daily Affirmations

From Daily Affirmations or a cup of pudding a day is the way to stay o.k.

--By Ellen DeGeneres

• I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout.
• I bet nobody knows I’m crazy.
• I look good in bell bottoms.
• Archie would rather date me than either Betty or Veronica.
• I can walk through walls. Ouch! No, I can’t.
• I mean for my hair to look like this.
• The Great Spirit smiles on me. On me and only me. The Great Spirit hates everybody else. We're best friends.
• I don't need to exercise. I have the perfect shape.
• I look good with back hair. Being grubby equals being cool.
• I sing better than Bonnie Raitt. I have as many Grammys as Bonnie Raitt. I am Bonnie Raitt.
• It's not important to know what everybody else seems to know.
• If I put my mind to it, I could do anything. I just don't feel like putting my mind to something. So there.
• I have X-ray vision. Wait a minute.  I don’t.  These glasses are a rip off.
• I meant to get ripped off.
• I've fallen and I can't get up.
• I’m good at watching TV.
• I can come up with better affirmations than these.