In honor of Mother’s Day, I thought it would be appropriate to share a story of a wonderful woman, who was able to give the gift of motherhood to her sister. This story is about a woman and her daughters that had faced many unique obstacles along the pathway to motherhood.
Jessica and Melissa were born to a loving mother, Gail. Unfortunately in 1984, at the young age of 30, Gail had been diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer. The treatments lasted 3 years and while they took a while, the cancer had gone away.
Later, in 2006, Gail had noticed another lump in her breasts. The cancer had come back. Chemo cleared it up, but in 2007 the cancer was back for its third round. At this time, Melissa was engaged to the love of her life and was set to get married in June 2008, exactly one year to the date that her fiancé, Steve proposed. Gail was determined to be able to see Melissa get married and was not going to let cancer hold her back.
Then one month later, another setback. But, this time, it was Melissa who found a lump. Two days later she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Her mother and she began sharing the devastating experience together. They would hold each others hand while receiving treatments, knowing that they were there for each other in the most unique way imaginable.
Before undergoing treatments, Melissa’s doctor recommended that she freeze any embryos that she can because the possibility of losing her fertility is very high. Her doctor said, “along with killing the bad cells, cancer treatment can wreak havoc on a woman’s ability to bear children. It can catapult you into early menopause. You may stop ovulating — or you may not — but if you know you want children, rolling the dice on whether you’ll be able to conceive post-treatment is probably not a risk you want to take.” So, following doctor’s orders they were able to fertilize four embryos- their last shot at possibly becoming parents one day.
After the devastating news, and with Gail’s poor prognosis, Melissa and Steve wanted to move the wedding up to March in order to get Melissa’s treatment underway. That July, Gail sadly lost her battle with breast cancer.
Melissa spent the next year trying to cope. She had such a challenging year battling breast cancer, mourning the loss of her mother, and getting married, all within six months of each other. While many of her friends were at the point in their life to have a baby, she was dealing with the loss of her fertility. An excerpt from her journal reads:
“Babies are a blessing and I am so thrilled for all of our friends. Yet I cannot stop crying. I can’t help but feel the loss of children. Steve and I may never be able to have children of our own. Even if we are lucky enough to have children, I will never be able to carry them. I will never feel my child grow inside me. I will not get to feel the first kick. I will never hold my husband’s hand on my belly as we feel our child move. I feel as though so many moments have been stolen from me. Cancer has stripped me of so much; my mother, my breasts, my hair, my twenties, my immune system and now my fertility. How do I cope with this loss too.”
Melissa’s last hope of having a child was to think of another option…surrogacy. One night Melissa’s younger sister, a woman that had never been married, nor had borne children of her own, offered to carry her child. Due to the fact that it is not common for a gestational carrier to not have had a child already, the doctors did not recommend that she move forward. Jessica did not care. She wanted to do this for her sister, who had been through so much.
With high hopes they transferred and to their surprise Jessica got pregnant….with twins! Brendan arrived at 12:48 a.m. and Gabriella arrived at 12:49 a.m. on April 17, 2011. Steve was the first to hold them and Melissa stayed glued to Jessica’s side. An excerpt from Melissa’s journal reads:
Jessica is doing well. I haven’t left her side and will be sleeping with her at the hospital until she comes home. I have the most incredible sister. She has given me the gift of my children, and I can never repay her for this gift. I cannot believe how lucky I am.
This year, on her second Mother’s Day, they all will celebrate together. The will celebrate the babies who are alive because of their aunt, they will celebrate their mother’s life and they will celebrate the sisters’ bond and the selfless miracle Jessica provided to Melissa and Steve.
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