Once Jackie had decided to become a surrogate, she chose a surrogacy agency, where she met Amy Kaplan, who would be her case manager and guide along the way. She describes Amy as someone who “truly cares about you”. She says Amy’s experience as an egg donor, surrogate, IVF clinic manager, case worker, and mother gives her the ability to see “every point of view”. With Amy’s guidance and support, Jackie began her extensive series of physical exams, psychological counseling, background checks and reviews of her medical history. After she passed all of the necessary requirements, she was interviewed by potential parents until all parties felt like it was the right match. This was another critical step in the process since the lives of all individuals would be inextricably linked once she became pregnant.
In order to prepare physically, Jackie was given medication to block her own ovulation and hormones to prepare her body for pregnancy. This step was difficult as it made her physically tired and irritable at times. Finally, the long-awaited day arrived when she would undergo her first embryo transfer. Jackie was given Valium, and using a catheter, the doctor transferred the delicate embryo into her uterus. A fantastic glow lit up the ultrasound when the embryo was implanted. It is as if the life force of the embryo was showing itself. Often, this moment brings a sense of awe and wonder to all who witness it as new life is taking root right before your eyes.
Following the transfer, Jackie remained lying on an inverted table for another 45 minutes, feet up, letting the force of gravity assist in the process. Next, she relocated to her hotel room nearby, where she would stay on 48-72 hour bed rest. Later that month, when she returned to the doctor, she was disheartened to learn that her first embryo transfer had failed, a common occurrence in the world of IVF. Resolved to try again, two months later, Jackie was overjoyed to learn she had become pregnant.
Jackie felt even more thrilled because her hopes of developing a loving relationship with the intended mother were also coming true. Not only was the new mother actively engaging in the relationship with Jackie, but she was also expressing great interest in the lives of Jackie’s children. She would surprise the children with gifts and call Jackie frequently to make sure she was doing well. Jackie could not have been more pleased with how beautiful the whole process was going, feeling fantastic most of the way through. At 38 weeks, she delivered a healthy 7 lb boy to the waiting arms of the new parents.
With the birth complete, Jackie unexpectedly found herself a little let down. While she was prepared for the time when she would deliver the baby to the arms of the new family, she was unprepared to let go of the new relationships she had forged with the family. She had hoped the relationships could be long-lasting, and that she could receive updates from time to time on the baby, but not all parents choose this route, and she had to grow to accept that.
Although the ending of her first surrogacy was bittersweet, Jackie couldn't help but feel she had done something truly incredible. For the first time in her life, she discovered what she was really good at. Being a surrogate had given her a sense of purpose, and a new clarity to her mission in life. She had the the ability to protect, nourish and bring to life another living being, filling the void and heartache of people who yearned to be parents. The joy and deep satisfaction of that realization made her want to become a surrogate again. She also grew wiser in the process and became better attuned to her own expectations and needs. In turn, she also got better at communicating those ideals to potential parents, ensuring it was the right match for them and for her. Luckily, her life lessons and preparation paid off, because the second time, Jackie got her happy ending.
To Be Continued…
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